Dress: Gift (Salt & Pepper) — Shirt: Goodwill (Dockers) — Belt: Goodwill (no label) — Shoes: Birkenstock — Necklace: Vendor in Mexico — Earrings: Jess Fink — Hair Clips: Safeway
What’s that I’ve got behind my back?
Das’ right, bitches! I done did my nails!
Lime green and tangerine orange were two of my favorite colors in high school, so looking at my nails now makes me feel pleasantly nostalgic. I had varying degrees of success with the newspaper nails technique I linked a couple of posts back; despite what the tutorial says, I found it was a lot more effective when I dabbed rubbing alcohol on the nail with a q-tip and then layered the paper over it, rather than dipping the paper in the alcohol and then laying it on the nail. You can see on my index finger where I tried the latter technique–some of the polish stuck to the paper and pulled off, resulting in a patchy end product.
By far, my biggest success was when I realized I could try it with things other than text. I found the usual Superior Thrift ad that the Pennysaver runs every couple of weeks, which feature a very excited woman holding a fistful of cash. After gently and tenderly cutting her face off (don’t worry, it was consentual), I did my thing. Let’s zoom in a little:
Her look of abject terror pleases me. Next time, I’m definitely going all faces, all the way.
Oh yeah! I’m wearing clothes, too. This dress makes me feel complicated. I love the color (a friend’s mom once described it as “poison green,” which delights me), but 1) it’s kind of itchy, 2) has a surprisingly heavy lining for a sundress, and 3) has straps that are too long, but also don’t take well to being shortened. I tried it once and wasn’t happy with the result, so I ended up ripping out the stitches and putting it back the way it was. It’s also hard to wear a bra underneath this. I got away with going braless when I wore it for college graduation, but I was hyper-paranoid about headlights or nip-slips the whole time and it just wasn’t worth it.
This time I tried layering a shirt over it (yes, the same shirt I wore two posts ago) but because I didn’t button it I still ended up with a lot of Hot Bra-Peeking Action. I mean, it was a heather gray racerback t-shirt bra–not exactly Frederick’s of Hollywood material–but still. I ended up just going with it while at Safeway, and fortunately I didn’t get arrested for indecency.
For the rest of the day I was just hanging out with my own bad self in the house. Well, and Jessica Fletcher since I watched two episodes of Murder, She Wrote while painting my nails, but she’s surprisingly forgiving about that kind of thing.
There are so many stories in this picture. Like the story about how amazing artist and comicker Jess Fink is and how much I love these Day of the Dead earrings that I bought from her Etsy shop, which is sadly empty at the moment. The colors! The gigantic size! And there’s the story of how I’m pretty sure these teeny tiny hair clips are supposed to be for infants, but I don’t care and they came in fun colors. And there’s also the story of how sick I’m getting of my hair’s insolence and how every haircut I look at seems far too long. My scalp is just itching for a razor, I tell you. Rebekah at Jaunty Dame did it, Erika Moen just did it…sigh. However will I deal with my first-world problems?
I may not be a dab hand at pattern mixing, but I will mix colors like nobody’s business! Just you watch me!
My nails, my earrings, my colors…I’m just so verklempt from it all. While I try to get ahold of myself, gaze upon the deceptively sweet visage of our Destruct-O-Matic, a.k.a. our three-legged kitten, Flat Tire:
She’s named after a Gamble Rogers joke, which is maybe why she ruins everything I love.