Top: Target — Capris: Ross — Wedges: 6pm.com (Sam & Libby) — Earrings: Target
Interesting Fact #1: This top is surprisingly hard to style, because of the length and drape, and the way the sleeves make it impossible to tuck into anything. I do love everything else about it, though, from the print to the shape to just how dramatic it is. I’ve actually been looking for a caftan dress in this style, but so far have had no luck, so the top will have to do for now.
Interesting Fact #2: There was a time, not so long ago, when I would have hated how dramatic this top is. I used to hate any sort of attention, and spent a lot of my time trying to be as invisible as possible. (This wasn’t hard; I was a nerdy kid and didn’t have many friends, so most of my lunch breaks at school were spent alone, reading.) Even now, attention can make my heart pound. I wore this outfit yesterday, and we had an after-work event that involved standing up and saying a little bit about ourselves–an exercise that never fails to entirely blot from my mind a) my job title and b) everything I’ve ever known about myself. Fortunately, I managed to pull it together and remember who I am and what I do, but it was a near thing.
I’ve gotten more used to being noticed, though. If I want to keep doing odd things to my hair and dressing creatively, it’s unavoidable. I’ve also discovered that, hey, I kind of like it! If other people want to tell me that I look nice, that is pretty cool, and I try not to stop them anymore. It has taken a while to figure out how to not immediately neg on myself in response to a compliment, I will admit; there’s that little voice in the back of my head telling me that I’m vain, or shallow, or self-absorbed for enjoying compliments, never mind if I actually start agreeing with them. (Although it did make me laugh when someone said I was brave for getting a buzz cut. What? Naw, man, naw.)
But, you know, that’s why it’s a work in progress. And I don’t think it’s a bad thing, being visible! I just try to remember that I’m not ashamed of myself, and that really, I do look pretty nice some of the time, even if I don’t always fit into other people’s expectations of what “nice” looks like. But then again…
…that leads us to Interesting Fact #3: At said post-work event last night, a coworker came up to me after the introduce-yourself portion of the evening and told me that, from across the room, he’d thought that my earrings were made from the hair that was so recently shaved off my head. So maybe that tells you all you need to know about what other people have come to expect from me.