Tank top: Old Navy — Button-front: Goodwill — Skirt: Gift — Sandals: Target — Necklace: Goodwill — Bracelet: Gift
I want to get something out of the way here: I promise–cross my heart and hope to eat an apple pie–that the tank top you see here is not, in fact, baby-poop brown. It’s just not! My camera tricked me. It’s actually sort of an army-greeny-olive in real life, and even though the contrast to the much cooler olive skirt does bring out the warmer tones in the tank top, I assure you that in real life it’s not poop colored.
Okay, so now that you’re all thinking about poop, let’s talk about something else! I can’t pin down specifically where I’ve seen this particular sort of color-combination before, olive green/neutral with little blips of bright color, but it feels rather on-trend. (At least, more on-trend than how I usually dress.) Normally I wouldn’t have worn this to the office, what with the tank top and the tattoo showing and all, but my supervisor has been out all week, and it’s just been so hot that I decided to heck with it.
Although that was a little bit of a mistake, because it’s hot at home, it’s hot outside, it’s hot everywhere but in my office, where for some reason they keep things at near-refrigeration levels and I end up chain-drinking hot tea all day to stave off the chills. My poor delicate constitution! This is how I got that summer cold a couple weeks ago, I tells ya.
I’ll also let you in on a little secret, so if you’re not interested in TMI, look away now or think about bunnies or something: I also didn’t wear a bra. Instead, I utilized some pasties, which I bought a couple of months ago for just such occasions. (Well, actually, the package calls them “breast petals,” but yuck and urgh. Let’s not, shall we?) I’m obviously of the small-breasted variety, and honestly, I would go braless WAY more often than I do if not for the nipple situation. Nipples! They’re kind of taboo! We all have them, but because they’re part of (women’s, at least) secondary sexual characteristics, they’re seen as sexual at all times in our society, even when you’re just running out to pick up milk. Going braless is also generally conflated with more casual looks, because…taking time to rein in your boobs means you’re being more formal? I don’t know.
And I get that it can be distracting to see someone else’s nipples under their shirt when you’re not expecting it, I do! Even if I also think it’s a rather arbitrary way to feel. That’s where the pasties come in. I can deploy them in situations where a bra doesn’t work with whatever else it is I’m trying to wear, or when I just plain don’t want to wear a bra but still want to abide by socially-mandated nipple discretion. They’re not perfect–they can be itchy, especially on a hot day, and if I wear them multiple days in a row there’s definite irritation–but I like them well enough, and if they allow me to freeboob it at the office once in a while, so much the better.
Okay, so now that I’ve made you think about both boobs and poop, how do you feel? (How many readers do you think I’ve lost us?) Anything you’d like to share with the class?
I leave you with a song. (You’ll know which one; look to the left and click ‘listen’.)