Trimming the Pork Chop: The Flat Tire Story

Once, there was a little kitty. Her name wasn’t Flat Tire yet, but it would be, soon. She may have been abandoned by previous owners who moved; the legends are unclear. Whatever her origins, fate found her living outside at a tender age, and a half-missing back leg (probably deformed since birth) meant she was an easy target for the other feral cats in the area. These were tough times for such a little kitty, but she endured and survived.

One day, she was hiding under a bush when four people walked by and noticed her, despite her best attempts to hide. One lured her out with leftover mackerel from the restaurant they’d just left, and they saw that she was adorable and sweet. When they also saw that she only had three legs, they took her in, gave her a flea bath, and tried to figure out what to do next.

And lo, she was tiny.

Two of the people who found her decided to keep her temporarily until they could get her to a shelter, but, as so often happens, one thing led to another and pretty soon they wouldn’t give her up for the world. With that, they became a little family of three. For the next year, where the people went, the kitty went, and they were happy.

But Flat Tire’s people were worried about her stump–or, as they called it, her Pork Chop–for, although she had no problems with it in the beginning, as time went on she continued to hurt the end of the Pork Chop on all manner of surfaces and objects, and her wails of pain began to fill their home. This, her people thought, would not do. With heavy hearts, they scheduled surgery and hoped for the best.

When Flat Tire came to after her surgery, her Pork Chop was gone and she was half-shaved in a most ignominious manner, and she was sore and tired and angry at the world. Her people (well, one of her people) was worried that she would hate everything forever and spend the rest of her days an unhappy kitty.

Fortunately, though, her people’s fears were unfounded, and pretty soon Flat Tire was back to being the happy little troublemaker they knew and loved, albeit a little clumsier than before.

Now if only she could get those stitches out so the cone could come off…but that’s a tale for another time.

(P.S. I took it upon myself to sum up Flat Tire’s short life story so far because I got a few questions regarding her origins and the reason for her surgery. Also, this blog is now all cats, all the time. DEAL WITH IT.)


14 thoughts on “Trimming the Pork Chop: The Flat Tire Story

  1. KITTY! Most impressive is the photo at top. If I ever got close enough to Miss Boris Karloff to get a shot like that, she would immediately start licking the camera. (I mean, I get close to her a lot, just not with a camera.)

    • Mia says:

      Oh, I think that was Mike playing with one of his fancy new lenses from afar. Flat Tire gets super antsy when she senses that you’re close enough to give her pets too.

    • Mia says:

      It is indeed! A year younger but otherwise much the same. He never likes any pictures taken of him, but gave his permission for me to use it anyway.

  2. Even with the cone of shame, Mike still managed to make her look majestic in these pictures. Why is he so good at taking animal shots? XD I’m so glad you guys found her and ended up keeping her, despite Griffin’s asshattery.

    • Mia says:

      He’s just skilled, and also patient, which is pretty much the biggest necessity with animals, since they’re so good at I’m-holding-still-I’m-holding-still-WHOOPS-I’M-A-BLUR.

      I’m glad we found her too. (Griffin wasn’t a jerk this time, though, that was with Blindy the one-eyed cat, later renamed Leela. He still has her, as far as I know.)

  3. Aw, Flat Tire. So sweet. My S had surgery (cancerous tumor) almost two weeks ago, endured a bit of the cone o’ shame, and gets his stitches out on Friday. Nothing as major as losing a pork chop, but probably just as important. Just wish they could tell you what’s what sometimes!

    Best healing to your creature.

  4. I am late to the Flat Tire story! D: My greatest regret in having the pizza thing at my house (well, aside from all the cleaning) is that it’s been SO LONG since I’ve seen FT and I miss her cute grumpy face. Then again, she probably would have been miserable and hiding with that many people over, soooo.

  5. Thanks for sharing this story! When my parents were first married, they had a dog with three legs. Eventually they had to give him up, though (my dad was in the military and they had to move too often).

    Also, I finally understand the title of this post!

  6. Ghostie says:

    Stumbled across your blog via EBEW and had to read about your kitty. She’s very beautiful! I hope by now she’s recovered from her surgery. I had the supreme pleasure of being owned and loved by a tripod kitty girl named Pris. She was amazing and her physical challenges never slowed her down for one minute. We lost her to cancer 3 years ago. I still miss her terribly and she is often in my dreams. However I am thankful for the years of love and companionship she gave me. I wish the same for you and your Flat Tire.

    • Mia says:

      Thank you so much for telling me about Pris! I’m sad that she’s gone but it’s so great that you had such a special kitty to love. Three-legged cats are hilarious, if Flat Tire is any indication, and I hope we’ll have her around to drive us to distraction for a long time.

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